


Never have I ever...Wait what?

by LunarEclipse



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Al is a little shit, Also there wasn't supposed to be smut, Alternate Universe, Basically they all get drunk and play never have I ever, Biting, Coming Out, Crack Treated Seriously, Crude Humor, Darius calls Ed sunshine in my world and I will die on this hill, Dirty Dancing, Dirty Jokes, Drinking Games, Drunk Antics, Ed almost kills Havoc, Fluff and Humor, Greed is Greed okay, Hand Jobs, Inappropriate Humor, Multi, Nipple Play, No joke everyone is trying to get Ed drunk, Polyamorous relationship, Post-Canon, Protectiveness, References to past orgies, Relationship Reveal, Roy just wants to sleep, Size Difference, Size Kink, This is post canon so everyone is of age, This was supposed to be a dumb ficlet but it turned into this monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 14:41:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19253248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarEclipse/pseuds/LunarEclipse
Summary: "Everyone knows he's seeing someone, and he usually denies it, but it's so obvious, why is my brother such an idiot?" He inquired helplessly. Mei giggled and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I don't know love, but maybe he's just waiting for the right moment?" she offered and Al frowned.He looked deep in thought and Mei felt a headache coming on "Alphonse, I know that look on your face" she pushed him up and held his chin in her hands. "Whatever you're planning, don't" she ordered sternly. Al grinned at her "I'm sorry Mei, but I've got a great idea" he started explaining the plan to her and despite herself, she felt a smirk crawl it's way onto her face. Oh, this would be good.





	Never have I ever...Wait what?

**Author's Note:**

> I AM ALIIIIVEEEEE!!
> 
> OKAY! So holy shit this took me around 4 days. I have two jobs (and still only just enough for rent ugh) and no time for myself so this is a miracle!  
> It was supposed to be a dumb ficlet with them just playing Never have I ever. Ironically, the last scene I wrote first, so if it seems disjointed that's why.  
> I wrote smut and it gained a plot, and as I joked to my friend, it turned into a Pokemon of sexualities in this, Gotta catch 'em all!  
> Anyway, to all my fellow brothers, sisters and non-binary siblings in the LGBTQIA community, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!  
> ONWARD'S WITH THE STORY!
> 
> ~Luna

"Come on brother! Everyone is going!" Al complained, leaning against the door of his brothers' apartment in central.

Ling grinned and knocked rapidly on the door "Come on Ed! It's the 5th anniversary of The Promised Day, and it won't be the same without our darling Fullmetal alchemist!" He batted his eyelashes and Al laughed next to him.

The door creaked open a smidge and Ed glared at them through the crack, dark circles under his eyes and his hair down and a mess, almost to his hips now. "I have to teach an early class tomorrow. I'd rather not" he muttered.

Shuffling was heard from inside the room and a deep voice Al couldn't place said something to Ed. The blonde blinked an incredulous look crossing his face. "You really want me to go too?" He snarked, his voice muffled.

Another voice said something and Ed sighed, his shoulders going slack. Turning back to them he frowned and shook his head "Fine, I'll see you guys there" he muttered and slammed the door shut. Al and Ling shared a grin and high fived each other.

 

* * *

 

"Really? You guys are assholes, you know I don't wanna go" Ed sighed, falling down on the couch with a soft thump. Darius sat next to him and began kneading the knots in his shoulders, "come on, sunshine, you've been so stressed lately, this will be good for you" he soothed and Ed muttered something about him being a stupid Gorilla but sighed and leaned back into the man's touch.

"I hate you" he mumbled, and Darius laughed, nuzzling the side of his head. "Love you too sunshine" he whispered, kissing Ed's neck to get him to sigh and melt in his hands.

"Has class been that rough lately, love?" Heinkel called, looking up from his paperwork. Ed shot him a weak glare and nodded "None of the idiots I teach can even begin to grasp the basic principles of alchemy. Bunch of dumbasses I tell you" he grumbled.

"Not everyone can be Prodigy's like you and Al" Heinkel pointed out and Ed shot him a glare that melted as he tipped his head back, moaning softly as Darius began nipping the sensitive skin behind his ear.

Heinkel made his way over and smiled, sitting in front of Ed and pulling the 22-year-olds legs into his lap. Rubbing the flesh foot, he pressed his knuckles into the arch of Ed's foot, the smaller man groaning happily at the feeling.

Heinkel shared a look with Darius, both of them grinning and jumping into action.

Darius slid his hands down and snuck his fingers under Ed's loose tank top, Ed shivering at the feeling of his hands wrapped around him. Both Chimeras knew that their size difference with Ed got the former alchemist's engine truly revving. They both could appreciate it too, as proven by the way the both groaned when Darius' large hands touched as he wrapped his grip fully around Ed's slim abdomen.

Heinkel slid a hand up Ed's leg, caressing the exposed skin of his inner thigh. Ed's knee jerked at the feather-light touch, his body quivering. "You bastards" he breathed, his head lolling back to rest against Darius' shoulder. "You love us" Darius growled out, a firm hand sliding up to tweak a hardening nipple. Ed gasped, his hand flying out to grasp Darius' wrist and squeeze. When he tweaked the nipple again, rolling the pink bud in between his pointer finger and thumb, Ed arched his back "Fuck!" He cried breathlessly.

Darius grinned at Heinkel, the lion letting out a loud rumble in his chest that the other two had come to know as a purring of sorts. Only done when Heinkel was content and or proud. While Heinkel continued to massage Ed's leg and thigh, Darius pulled up Ed's shirt and exposed his nipples one redder from stimulation than the other.

Ed went to say something when Heinkel shot forward, latching on to Ed's nipple and sucking on it, while Darius pulled Ed's free nipple harshly, pulling the skin as far as it could go. Ed _writhed_ under their ministrations, a breathless whine leaving him.

Ed, however, was never one to take things lying down and shot out one hand to grab Heinkel's straining member in his slacks. The other tangling in Darius' hair and tugging viciously in a way that Ed knew he loved.

The larger men both moaned, Heinkel, dragging a sharp canine over the rosy bud in his mouth and Darius pulling his hand away to gently slap at Ed's nipple. When Ed merely moaned he grinned victoriously and brought his hand down harder, the sharp _slap_! Making Ed whimper, his teeth tugging his lip between his teeth in an effort to stay quiet.

"Fuck- you guys are ahh terrible" he panted out, a warm feeling curling in his gut. They really weren't. They knew his body well. They knew what he needed in and out of the metaphorical bedroom. He wouldn't trade them for anything.

When Heinkel's fingers curled under the elastic of Ed's boxers, the shorter man moaned and nodded his head. Lifting his hips so the other blonde could pull them down, his member slapping against the skin of his stomach, and precum already pooling at the slit.

Heinkel huffed a laugh as he wrapped two of his fingers around the member, almost fully covering it as he pulled his hand up and back down, twisting on occasion. Ed jerked, curses flying from his lips as he dug his nails into Darius' scalp. His nipples still being constantly stimulated. At this rate, he wouldn't last.

A knock on the door startled all three of them, and Ed tried to twist free but Heinkel held him in place. Biting his nipple when he tried to move. Ed slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle a moan as Darius slapped his other nipple yet again. Quivering as a voice called from the hall.

"Ed? It's Winry! I just wanted to know if you've seen Al? May said she got me a dress for tonight that she brought from Xing and while she and Ling were playing catch up with the Fuhrer Al would have it for me." She explained.

Ed shot a glare at the door as he whined behind his hand, sweat dripping down his temple. He loved Winry really, but couldn't she just leave him alone right now? God, he would never complain about her and Paninya's PDA ever again if she just left. "You should probably answer her sunshine before she busts down the door" Darius breathed in amusement. Heinkel gave a soft laugh and Ed pulled his hand away after a moment, opening his mouth and letting out a startled whine as Heinkel dug his teeth into the skin around his areola.

"Ed?" Winry called, worry and confusion in her voice. Ed shot a weak glare at Heinkel, who smirked and kitten licked the large teeth marks he had left on the younger man's pectoral. "I'm f-fine Winry!" He yelled, his voice shaking. It was silent for a moment before Winry spoke again, and he could hear the smirk in her voice. "Oh! You have someone in there with you don't you?" She teased. Ed sputtered and shouted at her.

"I DO NOT HAVE-" His words cut out as a loud moan escaped him as he came, whines escaping him every time he panted, painting his stomach and Heinkel's hand in cum. His vision flashed white, not even realizing he had been so close throwing him off course and the only sound he could hear was his own blood pumping in his ears.

He slumped, a raspy little whine escaping him as Heinkel went to lick his hand. Ed's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, pulling his cum covered hand to his mouth and licking it. His tired golden eyes were full of a challenge as he stared at Heinkel.

Both Chimeras growled, Winry far from all of their minds and picked up their former state alchemist. Ed smirking victoriously as they headed into the bedroom.

 

* * *

 

The blonde huffed and shook her head, a wry smirk on her lips as she heard shuffling and a door slamming. Edward was foolish if he thought she was stupid enough to believe him. Laughing a little to herself she couldn't help but wonder who had the pleasure of warming her best friends bed.

Turning her back on his apartment she made her way downstairs where Paninya was waiting in the lobby. "Hello beautiful" she called as she saw Winry approaching. The blonde laugh and grabbed her girlfriend's hand as they began heading out. "So where to?" Paninya chirped, and Winry gave a mischievous grin.

"No idea, Ed was in but he wasn't alone" smirking to herself she nudged the other woman. "And judging by the sounds he was making, he and whoever he had in there were rather occupied Pan" she told her quietly and Paninya grinned widely. "Ooh how fun" she effused and Winry giggled.

Paninya looked around and seeing no one that would cause them trouble, leaned closer to Winry and gently nipped her earlobe "why don't we get back to the Rose and have some fun ourselves" she purred and Winry bit her lip, nodding and walking faster. Paninya practically skipping next to her.

 

* * *

 

"Are you sure you can't come?" Scar asked, laying his head back against the couch to look at Miles. The other man was settled at the kitchen table, paperwork scattered across it.

Not looking up from his work he nodded "I'm sorry my heart, but I really need to finish this before we head back to Briggs. No breaks, unfortunately" he explained, looking up briefly to give Scar an apologetic smile.

Scar smiled back before sighing and lifting his head up again. "Let's not distract Miles hmm?" Olivier stopped behind the couch and tugged on Scar's ponytail until he leaned his head back to look up at her. Giving a little smirk she leaned down and nipped at his bottom lip. "Get ready to go, I expect you to be ready in 5" she ordered and gentling her touch she ran her fingers through his hair, kissing his lips gently before releasing him. Scar gave her a little smile and stood, walking to their room to get dressed.

Looking over at Miles, Olivier tossed her hair out of her face and stalked over, grabbing his chin firmly but gently. "I expect your work to be finished when we get back, if it is you'll get a reward" she tempted, their eyes burning into each other.

Miles nodded "Yes sir" he breathed and Olivier gave a little laugh, caressing his cheek before walking away, grabbing her jacket and sword as she went to the car.

 

* * *

 

"So you heard two voices?" Mei asked curiously. They were both on the couch in their hotel room, Al laying between her legs with his head on her chest. Nodding the blonde sighed "They were both deep, the one I could barely hear sounded rather masculine" he explained, and Mei nodded, making a noise of understanding.

"You think one of them was his mystery partner?" She inquired, running her fingers through his short hair. Al grunted, sitting up and looking at Mei in exasperation.

"I don't know why he won't tell me he's seeing someone" Al threw his hands in the air "It's so awkward sitting across from him at dinner when his neck is covered in hickeys and I keep waiting for him to tell me. If it didn't keep happening I'd assume he's just having" Al's face turned rather green at the thought "One night stands, which is traumatic for me to think about my own brother" slumping back against Mei he buried his face in her chest and let out a pitiful whine.

"Everyone knows he's seeing someone, and he usually denies it, but it's so obvious, why is my brother such an idiot?" He inquired helplessly. Mei giggled and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I don't know love, but maybe he's just waiting for the right moment?" she offered and Al frowned.

He looked deep in thought and Mei felt a headache coming on "Alphonse, I know that look on your face" she pushed him up and held his chin in her hands. "Whatever you're planning, don't" she ordered sternly. Al grinned at her "I'm sorry Mei, but I've got a great idea" he started explaining the plan to her and despite herself, she felt a smirk crawl it's way onto her face. Oh, this would be good.

 

* * *

 

"Fullmetal, it's great to see you" Fuhrer Roy Mustang said, holding out a hand as the former alchemist walked in, Darius and Heinkel right behind him.

Ed stared at Roy incredulously for a moment. "We see each other once a week because Gracia has us over for dinner" he deadpanned and Roy gave him a wry smile. "Professionalism Edward" he urged and the blonde rolled his eyes before shaking his hand "What an honor to see you again Fuhrer Bastard" he simpered sarcastically. Roy held back a laugh and gently shoved the younger man away from him, nodding to Darius and Heinkel as they followed Ed further into the room.

The younger Elric brother had got in touch with him no less than 39 minutes ago, a plan in mind to get Edward to tell them who he was seeing. Roy thinned his lips as he noticed the love bites covering Ed's throat. Big and wide marks that he didn't seem to care about.

Something like protectiveness rose in his throat as he noticed Darius setting a hand on Ed's waist. He had realized with the help of Riza that the two Chimera's that followed Ed around may be the mystery person Al was curious about.

Unable to stop the worry that always welled in him in relation to his charges (no matter how old they got) he settled slightly when Heinkel said something to make Ed laugh brightly, a beautiful smile on his face as he leaned against Darius. Maybe he was looking into it too much, and even if they were in a relationship Ed didn't seem unhappy or in harm's way. As well, who was Roy to judge someone for finding comfort in multiple people at once. After all, he and Riza had Jean join them more than once, even if it was just casual for them.

Rolling his eyes at himself he turned back to welcome more people that entered the ballroom. Barely aware of Ling trying to ply Ed with alcohol, part of Al's plan.

'Get Ed drunk and loose-lipped so he'd confess about his relationship' was a go.

 

* * *

 

Ling grinned as Ed shot him a glare and chugged the drink he had sent his way. Even after all these years, Ling was proud of his ability to get Ed riled up and push every button the former alchemist had.

"Alright you proved me wrong" Ling laughed, and Ed grinned evilly, wobbling on the stool he sat at. The party was in full swing. Ling could see many soldiers and people they had fought with scattered across the room.

Al and Mei were deep in conversation with Dr. Marcoh about his newest study into healing alchemy, the couple sharing information about alkahestry and how it might help him. He could spot Darius laughing with Breda and Jean about one thing or another, but judging by the looks Darius kept shooting Ed they were talking about him as a kid.

Roy was talking to Olivier and Scar, Ling rolled his eyes, most likely about work, even at a party. And he could spy Winry and Paninya dancing on the floor with a bunch of other couples. Ed and himself were settled at the bar, Ling having challenged Ed to drink whatever the Xingan gave him and one of Ed's Chimera shadows, Heinkel, sat next to them rolling his eyes at them as he talked to Fuery and Falman, reaching over every now and then to steady Ed when he wobbled too much.

When Al had asked him to get his best friend drunk to find out who he was dating Ling agreed right away. Of course, Ling knew Ed was dating Heinkel and Darius, sharing a body with Greed would be something he would never forget, memories from that time hanging over his head like a fond spirit. In any case, Greed was Greed and he wanted everything. Case and point why Ling found himself, Ed, Darius, and Heinkel caught up in all of Greed's sexual hijinks, with each other _and_ strangers.

The young emperor thinks that's probably why he and Ed are such good friends, having sex with someone several times can bond you together in one way or the other.

So yes, while he didn't need to know who Ed was dating, because he already _knew,_  he wasn't gonna turn down a chance to get the former alchemist drunk. Ed had always been such fun to mess with when he drank. Did Ling really need any other reasoning than to mess with his best friend?

Ed knocked back another drink Ling had picked, the tongue twister, vodka, honey, and liquor straight from Creta, Ed shuddered and gagged nearly dropping the glass as he slumped over the counter, shivering.

Ling sipped at his own glass, a fruity little drink that Winry had recommended, and watched with furrowed brows as Heinkel leaned over and gently rubbed Ed's back, whispering something to him.

Ed whined and tilted his head up, nuzzling Heinkel's cheek as he whispered something in return. Finishing off his drink, Ling rolled his eyes. How could people not figure out Ed's relationship? _They were so obvious._

 

* * *

 

 "Alphonse, I fear your plan may be putting Ed and Ling in danger" Riza's deadpanned voice made Al flinch. Looking behind him he saw her leaning against a wall, her arms over her chest. She shot him a pointed look that made him turn, and his jaw dropped.

His big brother, Edward Elric, the former Fullmetal alchemist, was dancing with the emperor of xing in an extremely scandalous fashion.

Ed had his hair down and wild, missing his jacket, and shirt, only his tank top covered up his sweating form. He swung his hips, fire in his eyes and a bright grin on his face as Ling held onto his hips and danced with him. Ling also had his long hair down but was only missing his shoes. His shirt was unbuttoned and when he leaned forward to grind his hips into Ed's the blonde merely laughed and copied his movements.

"Oh God!" Al moaned, covering his face. But it was like a car crash, it was awful to look at but he couldn't tear his gaze away.

Ed and Ling were both obviously trashed at this point, laughing loudly and dancing with each other. Al had never wanted to see his big brother and a close friend grinding their hips on each other in a sexual fashion. Ed grinned and turned around, Ling's arms wrapping around his waist and they both burst into belly-deep laughter as he picked Ed up and spun them around.

"Ed!" Al yelled, dashing forward. Mostly everyone had left so neither men's reputation was in danger, but Ling's feet weren't steady. The Xingan emperor was going down, and he was bringing Ed with him. They hit the ground with a loud thud, drawing even more stares.

Al stopped short when Heinkel and Darius ran forward, Heinkel propping Ed up against his chest and Darius pulling up Ling. "Are you okay?" Al asked, walking closer with some slight trepidation. Ed perked up and grinned at him "Alphonse! My little brother!" he looked up at Heinkel, leaning his head against the taller blondes chest. "lion king! It's my little brother Al!" He slurred and Al shared a helpless smile with Heinkel.

"Yes brother it's me, why don't we sober you up a little" Al soothed, this was a shade too drunk for confessions. Ling had gone overboard apparently. For some _odd_ reason, Al wasn't as surprised about that as he should be.

After he, Heinkel and Darius had suitably plied Ed and Ling with copious amounts of food and water, the two sobering up slightly with their efforts.

Al was struck with an idea, looking around at who was left he felt a smirk disturbingly similar to his brothers crawl across his face. It was childish, it was a bit silly, but it should work. The most worrying factors were Scar, Olivier, and Riza. The others wouldn't mind playing and Darius and Heinkel would shadow Ed as usual.

He hadn't played this game in years, vaguely recalling Ed, Winry and himself playing with Paninya, when they were visiting her. Nodding his head, Al knocked back his drink and steeled his nerves, heading over to Olivier with no small amount of trepidation.

 

* * *

 

 "Everyone shut up and sit down, if we are going to be participating in this childish game we will at least do it properly" Olivier sneered, and Winry grinned from next to her. The younger blonde really did admire the General and how she could command a room so effortlessly.

The round table they sat at went as such; Olivier, Winry, Paninya, Jean, Riza, Roy, Alphonse, Mei, Edward, Darius, Heinkel, Ling, and Scar.

"So how does this go again?" Mei asked softly, the 18-year-old looking at her alcoholic drink scornfully, Amestris liquor really had nothing on Xing's taste wise, however, it did tend to knock you flat on your back faster than theirs.

"Well for example" Paninya smirked and shot a little look at Winry who scowled at her. "never have I ever, fantasized about doing it over my workshop table" Winry sputtered as everyone's gaze snapped to her curiously and hid behind her hair as she pulled her shot closer and downed it, her face bright red. "And the people that have done that, take a shot" Paninya chuckled, taking the punch to the shoulder from her girlfriend with grace.

"Wow Win, a bit wild are we?" Ed called with a wide smirk, almost falling out of his seat as he moved too fast. Winry glared, flustered, and stood up slamming her hands on the table. "oh yeah?!? Well, never have I ever had sex with a homunculus!" She shrieked and Ed's face paled dramatically. Everyone's jaws dropped and their faces shot to look at him.

"Fullmetal?" Roy drawled, a smirk on his lips, Ed twitched at that and slowly grabbed his glass. "Brother?! Who?" Alphonse demanded, and Ed shot a glared at Ling. "Stupid prince" he cursed and took his shot. Less surprisingly Heinkel and Darius also took the shot.

"Hey! It's not my fault Greed got attached" Ling shot back and Ed twitched viciously. "NEVER HAVE I EVER SCREWED SOMEONE OVER THE HOOD OF A CAR!" He screamed and Ling's eyes shot open, an uncharacteristic scowl on his face. "That was private" he growled, his cheeks tinging pink. Ed snorted and shook his head "Not very private if I could walk in on you and Lan Fan doing it in the middle of the street." He smirked. Ling's face darkened, he stood up and took his shot, stalking closer to Ed.

"Never have I ever had sex with a Chimera Human!" Ling snarled. Ed flinched, hissing loudly at Ling as the others grinned at him. Jean let out a loud guffaw and Ed, blushing bright red, took his shot.

"Who??" Al and Winry demanded, gasping in horror as Ed's gaze unintentionally slid to Darius. "Given Ling's stature I would not have expected you to be attracted to such a large man" Roy teased and Ed looked ready to blow a gasket.

"Never have I ever been tied up by my bodyguard as foreplay!" Ed shot at Ling who reeled back before growling out "Never have I ever had a threesome!" He yelled and nobody paid mind to Jean, Riza, Roy, Olivier and surprisingly Scar taking a shot.

Alphonse buried his face in his arms, moaning to himself about his misfortune. When he was planning this, he never imagined he'd have to hear anything about his older brothers apparently broad sex life.

"Never have I ever had a knife kink!" Ed screeched, getting in Ling's face. Paninya smirked and took a shot, everyone watching the two young men and their match of verbal tennis.

"NEVER HAVE I EVER BEEN FUCKED IN THE FUHRER'S OFFICE, _ON HIS DESK_ !!" Ling's voice reached new heights and Ed covered his face with a loud groan. Roy shot the former alchemist an affronted look. "Please tell me it wasn't _my_ desk" he pleaded, shooting a glare at the Chimeras across from him as Darius and Heinkel both took a shot. "I plead the fifth" Darius grumbled, shaking his head. Roy looked at Riza helplessly, Olivier laughing at him from her side of the table.

Ed's nostrils flared and he growled loudly "Never have I ever participated in an orgy!" He shrieked. Ling blinked rapidly before shaking his head "YES YOU HAVE!" He yelled, picking up a shot and shoving it at Ed.

Ed floundered grabbing the drink before it fell to the floor. "When?" He asked in genuine confusion his anger fading. Ling took a little breath and laughed, smirking "Greed, Darius, Heinkel? Greed let me out and we went to that club in-" Ed froze, his eyes unfocusing and gasped softly.

"In West city" he breathed. Ling grinned at him and Ed laughed, taking the shot. "I forgot all about that, how drunk were we?" He snickered. And Ling nudged him playfully "You? Absolutely hammered. The rest of us? Chimera and a homunculus, not affected much" he teased and Ed snorted.

"Edward, Ling, are you done now?" Riza asked tiredly and both men froze, turning to everyone with bright red faces.

"It was all Greed's fault" Edward stated automatically and Heinkel snorted. Ling looked at Ed before turning back to them "please don't tell Lan Fan" he begged. Mei merely smirked and swirled the liquor in her glass. Ignoring his pleading expression. Ally's they may be now, but she never missed a chance to mess with her half-brother.

"This turned out to be much more entertaining than I first pictured, so thank you" Olivier smirked, sipping at her glass. Scar snorted "seconded" he muttered. Edward gave a nervous laugh "obviously we were just messing with you guys, right Ling?" Looking to Ling the young emperor merely looked away, embarrassed.

"Darius, Heinkel, come on, tell 'em it was a joke." Ed pleaded and they shot him deadpanned looks. "Never" Mustang took a sip of his drink before shooting Edward a broad smirk "have I ever been in a serious relationship with multiple people at once?" It was a question, the plan finally coming to fruition, and everyone looked to Ed. The blonde flushed from his neck to the roots of his hair and shuffling forward, pulled a shot glass towards him.

"Oh God" Alphonse muttered, covering his face as Edward drank the shot, out of everyone he had pictured his brother in a relationship with, Darius and Heinkel had not once crossed his mind.

Everyone looked at each other none too subtly. Trying to see if anyone here would take the shot as well. Wanting to know for a fact who Ed was in a relationship with. When both Darius and Heinkel took the shot, (Olivier and Scar discreetly taking shots of their own) Jean choked on his cigarette. "Damn chief, your ass must be sore" he commented, sending Paninya into peels of laughter and Al banging his head against the table.

"Jean," said man looked up when Ed said his name and paled. "I'm this close to beating the shit out of you" Ed hissed holding his hand up. Jean looked at Ed's face, and then to his pointer finger and thumb which were touching. He looked back to Ed's face "Your fingers are touching" he rasped. Ed grinned demonically, bringing his hand closer to Jean. "Exactly."

Jean took a second longer to look at him before he flipped the table causing shouts of alarm and cursing to sound out and booked it.

Ed let out a loud yell and jumped over the table, running after him as Jean screamed loudly. Roy held a palm to his forehead and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and gesturing to the door with his free hand "Darius, Heinkel, please collect your lover and take him home" he ground out, looking pained. Jean's screams still sounding out, now joined by evil laughter.

The two chimera's shared a look and snorted before nodding and heading out.

It was silent for a moment before Al groaned and leaned his head on his girlfriend's shoulder. "Mei can we go home, I'm going to have nightmares about brother's sex life for months" he whined and Mei laughed. "I told you this was a bad idea" she teased fondly. Standing up and pulling her boyfriend up with her, she smiled at Roy "This has been fun but Al's right, come on _Emperor Yao_ , we should head out. Your bodyguard is waiting at the hotel for you." Mei teased and Ling paled. "I think I'll just stay here if it's all the same…" Seeing Roy's unimpressed look, he sighed and- looking like he was heading to his death -followed Mei and Alphonse out.

"Likewise, Miles is waiting for us at the house" Olivier mentioned, wrapping a hand around Scar's wrist and guiding him out. Out of sight Scar leaned his head against her shoulder as they began walking to their car. Olivier giving a rare smile and running her fingers up and down the tattoo on his arm.

Winry and Paninya said their goodbyes and headed back to their hotel, giggling to each other about what they had learned that night.

Eventually, Darius and Heinkel frog marched a now absolutely wasted Ed back into Mustang's home and said their goodbyes. Ed held in Darius' grasp and calling him a stupid Gorilla before nuzzling his face into his neck and kissing the skin there. Heinkel and Darius sharing a fond look.

"You alright Jean?" Riza asked softly, pressing a hand to his shoulder with a little grin. Jean laughed and nodded "Only thing wounded is my pride, Chief had me pinned when his shadows came and got him" he confessed the three of them laughing.

"Anyway" Jean stated after a moment "I better get back to my place, have a great night" he teased and headed out with a wave.

Roy shared a fond look with Riza, and she smiled shaking her head at him before they began cleaning up. The table and drinks still overturned.

 

_~Fin_

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, you can find me on TWITTER @LunarEclipseLE to get updates on fics or send in prompts!
> 
> Have a great day/night!
> 
> ~Luna


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